Dr. Peter Milhado
Ojai, CA 805-640-1810
Peter mon senior,
I’m delighted to see your presence here in cyberland! And what a pleasant site you’ve developed!
Please keep writing up the good work!
Well, it certainly has been more than a few years since we have had any contact. I must say your resume is very impressive for a southern German kid who boozed it up in High School and fell into other diversions in College!
What promted this initiative is that I was having a glass of Riesling- almost never have white wine anymore but just came back from Alsace and it seemed like a good idea. Anyway, it somehow prompted me to recall the numerous summer evenings in 1970 we had sitting on your parents balcony in FFM drinking , usually some form of German white wine, as I recall, though I am sure we did not limit ourselves to white wine. So I thought I’d go online to see if you could be located, and Bingo, not a problem.
Sounds like all is well in your world which is very good. From my side, I was married for quite some time to a French woman, have a 31 year old son, who is coming over tomorrow with his wife of 1 year for a BBQ. Remarried just over 10 years ago, have a beautiful little girl who will be 9 in October. Live in Basking Rigde, NJ. Have been in NJ almost 20 years, after having been in Houston for just over 10 years. Worked in corporate finance for Dresdner Bank (yes, my feeble German language skills did help, at least in the beginning) for over 25 years, got chopped and went to the other Axis Power, Bank of Tokyo Mitsubishi where I’ve been – also corportate finance – for just over 4 years!
We also were recently in Germany, my father, 90 years old and debilitated with Alzheimers, “lives” in Seelenberg in the Taunus and I/we try to see him at least once a year. His wife, my step-mother takes care of him.
Enough for now,
do hope all is well.
ps. You failed to note in your “biography” that the poor little Geman kid was luckier with the girls than most of the “Amis”! Oh well, guess you have to have a certain level of decorum on the internet!
All the best,
Thank you so much for your article on the puer aeternus. Such an accurage portrayal of the shadow side – the cold, brutal senex. I have just experienced this cruelty and am reeling somewhat, so reading what you have written has helped me greatly. I was supposed to help this person, a soul task, but I am still astonished and wounded by this side which has manifested in a way I did not expect.
I will read your other posts too as I enjoy the way you write.
Awesome stuff, eh?
I am very happy to see that you value this information enough to make a comment on the article. This kind of information and subject matter are not commonly seen, (except, probably, inside some thick, technical and dusty tome high on some obscure bookshelf). The Good Doctor boils it down for us, filtered and presented practically, from his years of experience in psychoanalysis.
Best to you on your “soul journey,”
John Anthony Miller
Always love to read your missives to the soul and try to imagine what is going on in yr life.
I hope that your are holding the light in my precious Ojai Valley.
I have been mostly alone now for about 10 years and I still love it. One of the reasons that I left the civilized world was because everyone is too busy for a long talk around the fire. Every time you wanna chat on the phone or in person they gotta go…gotta do something…gotta be somewhere. Yikes!!
I have been re reading Jack London. His family has a terrific web site up now with all his books and papers on line for free. What a great and brilliant soul he was. And his wife was very cool also.
When he was in Hawaii he was impressed by the langour of the Hawaiians. When he asked one how he could sit and stare at the water for so long ..the man replied
‘Ah, my brother, you will never learn to know the happiness of thinking nothing and doing nothing; this is next to sleep; this is the most delightful thing there is. Thus we were before birth; thus we shall be after death.'”
My biggest thrill these days is doing nothing…and when not…have a nice long “talk story” with whomever stops by.
Methinks that it doesn’t get more civilized that that.
Just checking in to let you know that YES!! I am on an ego trip…my dreams are full of juicy inspiration and grace…I am a pilgrim in seach for the meaning of the great cosmic giggle and when my neck is dirty..I wash it! (sometimes)
I hope this finds you well and that your camp fire is bright and your clients delightfully challenging.
Much Love Compenero
my mother does not acknowledge my feelings at all.i am made the scapegoat for all the bad things that happen inthe family.She tells me “I should have done this i should have done that. she tells me i am a great disappointment to her. i have problems with masculine assertion .i am a typical puer.Even my mother called me peter pan ! i am 58 by the way.I have had aroller coaster ride but now settling into the senex, positively i hope.no more booze or dope.But i would just like to mention the guilt.my mother is a past master at guilt she twist things rounds denies she says things after a conversation with her i am done in.I moved back to my home town to lay this ghost but she uses the money inheritance thing as a trap i realise this is bad but i have a deep malign hatred for her which i am sure spills over into my relations with ,women( i dont have any now) i feel trapped.I have had therapy about my father but that is a different story.I realise i have a lot of anger.Oh dear
Been thinking of you…of course you’d land in Ojai…
Your ex-wife….never remarried….you cured me of that!
Dearest Dr Milhado,
I am ever so grateful to read your articles – many were important and much needed for me to read. The depression article I will forward to a friend who is hurting deeply and your mentioning shamanism and SRE (soul recovery extraction) is something I already mentioned so it does not look like I invented gibberish.
Secondly, I am mourning deeply as my former step-daddy recently died last week from a heart attack at 69 years old. Reading the puer aeternus – it described my Daddy perfectly. In the last 28 years I carried a deep emotional festering psychic wound and a lot of unanswered questions – then I felt his presence last Monday night — he came through a song and being a sensitive empath, I grieved out of the blue. Not understanding why I was overreacting — I felt a nudge “Google up my name.” Blindly while still sobbing, I did so– and there was his obit. My world crashed – it’s been a week and suddenly a few days later – I was emotionally exhausted and tried to nap but drifted in and out of consciousness and suddenly I spontaneously had my own shamanic SRE – I saw my 13 years old spirit leave out of my Daddy’s shell. Shocked – I found new answers through her — he is now communicating with me more than he ever did when he was alive. Still confused, and unsatisfied — I searched online and there, bless you, was your article on puer aeternus – describing him to the T. I will have to journey to the rest of my life with so much left unsaid between us – but for now, I am utterly grateful of your impeccably written article. Thank you for your medicine.
I’m a retired psychooanayst from the Philadelphia area, living in Ojai for the past 3 momths. Phila Center of Psa, APsaA, IPA.. the whole nine yards. I only read View for your column. A colleague and friend, past president of the APsaA, Newell Fischer, has written a book, “Nine lives”..Vantage press. in plain English, writing nine vignettes of his woek with nine patirnts,revealing the two party immersion behindl psychoanalytic psychotherapy..or whatever nameone picks, honest therapy, attunement to what lies behind defenses etc It’s. hard, I’m sure you know better than I, to put suchings into words, but Newell does in manner that actually nakes it hard to put the book down,
And no, I don’t get a cut of his royalties..but as newbie to the area, I recognize a resonent soul from your column and would hate to see you miss a book by yet another resonrnt soul also a writer.
Howard Huxster MD
I found your article very enlightening. I always suspected much of what I read but its reassuring to see it coming from another person.
My question is how does this same home-life situation effect a female child or does it? Does she also grow yet fail to mature?
I’ll right away grab your rss feed as I can not find your e-mail subscription link or newsletter
service. Do you have any? Kindly let me know so that I could subscribe.
Hey there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
Anyhow, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!
Wow….Mike Leffler and Cid! It is weird but I was recently thinking about them both for no partiucalr reason. I hope Cid is doing well and happly. She was good person.
I just found your posts. They are wonderfull. You have an elevated and elegant spirit that has the ability to see behind the curtain.
Thank you. Ella
I absolutely loved your piece on Winnicott’s Hide and Seek – something I am working on in my personal therapy. I am now going to read through your archive as you have a voice that seems to speak to me – what a joy indeed to find and to be found. I wonder if you could be tempted to join Twitter – a daily dose of your thoughts in the style of @alaindebotton would be a pleasurable antidote to the world on a difficult day.
I’m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s equally educative and
interesting, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head.
The problem is something too few people are speaking
intelligently about. I’m very happy that I
stumbled across this during my hunt for something relating to this.
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